Active Listening

PRESENTER: Listening is one of the most important aspects of effective communication. In today's high tech, high-speed world, we seem to devote less and less time to really listening to one another. Genuine listening is a skill. And it's a really powerful tool you can use in the workplace.

By improving your listening skills, you can make a speaker feel heard and understood. This helps build stronger, deeper connections between you and your colleagues. A good listener creates a workplace environment where everyone feels safe to express ideas, opinions, and feelings. They can creatively solve problems in partnership and they can save time, avoiding conflict and misunderstandings.

They can also help relieve negative emotions. When a person feels that he or she has been truly heard, it can help calm them and allow for understanding or problem solving to begin. There are four key skills which you can learn to unlock the power of effective listening.

Number one, focus fully on the speaker. You need to really concentrate on the person speaking and pay special attention to their body language and other nonverbal cues. If you start to daydream, doodle, or check social media, then you are certain to miss nonverbal cues in the conversation. Some speakers can be really, really boring. So if you're finding it hard to concentrate, try repeating their words over in your head. It will reinforce their message and help you stay focused.

Number two, avoid interrupting. It's very common for people to interrupt one another when communicating. Have you ever been speaking with a colleague or manager and it seems no matter what you do, you keep getting interrupted? You begin a sentence and suddenly someone jumps in to complete it.

It's very frustrating, isn't it? You feel like you're not being heard. If it happens often enough, you might even stop contributing to the conversation altogether. Furthermore, you decide the person interrupting you is rude and your relationship is damaged forever.

So why do people do it? Well, on average, humans speak at a rate of 125 to 150 words per minute. But the human brain can comprehend and listen at the rate of 600 words per minute. This means that our minds are underutilized when listening to others.

We, therefore, struggle to keep our minds on topic. You might hear one or two phrases of the conversation and jump ahead to a solution or share a previous experience. Our boredom can inadvertently create a separate conversation. There are simple tricks you can practice to interrupt your interrupting behavior.

For example, try to close your mouth while listening. People often open their mouths to signal to the other person that they are ready to talk. When in a conversation, imagine a drop of glue on your lip. Focusing on keeping your mouth closed will stop interrupting someone.

Another tip is to make a note during the conversation. We now know that our brains operate much faster than others can speak. So it's natural that we have ideas we don't want to lose. And this can lead you to interrupt someone. To combat this urge and avoid losing the idea, write it down. Continue to listen. But make a note of the points you want to make when it's your turn to talk.

Finally, try to change your focus. Think about listening more than talking. Simply change your goal for the conversation to listen more than you speak. This change in focus can have a drastic impact on your success in curbing your interruption habit.

Chances are, one of the points we just covered speaks to you directly. Focus on that method and use it in your very next conversation.

Number three, avoid seeming judgmental. In order to communicate effectively with someone, you don't have to like them or agree with their ideas, values, or opinions. However, you do need to set aside your judgment and withhold blame and criticism in order to fully understand a person. The most difficult communication, when successfully executed, can lead to the most unlikely and profound connection with someone.

Number four, show your interest. You need to look interested in what the other person is saying. Try to nod occasionally, smile at the person talking, and make sure your posture is open and inviting. Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments, like yes, right, and really. You can even show you are listening with nonwords, such as mmmm or uh huh.

If your goal is to fully understand and connect with the other person, then listening effectively will often come naturally. If it doesn't, you can remember the four key skills you've just learned. The more you practice them, the more satisfying and rewarding your interactions with others will become.